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I rediscovered an old link on my browser favorites list, it's by Randy Ingermanson, all about the function of a scene and the follow-up scene, which he calls the "sequel," the quasi-scene or narrative consolidating, cleaning up, and cogitating over what just happened in the "scene," and resting the reader a little in preparation for another high point, the next scene. It was an extremely useful article for me.
Judging from a lot of early drafts of good stories in critique groups that I've been involved with, understanding and applying this principle would be helpful for many B+ writers whose novels feel too monotone.
The story tension and stakes for the protagonist are akin to being on a roller coaster--this is my analogy, not Ingermanson's--where the scenes are the high points and the sequels are the necessary lower "valleys" to gather up steam again. But unlike a roller coaster, the general lay of the track tends, throughout the novel, to get higher and more precarious until the ridiculously high stakes and scariest conflict, the place on the track near the end of the ride that must be resolved via the climax. You (the reader following and rooting for the protagonist) have reached the awesome point where you see the whole city and you feel on the brink of plunging someplace you don't want to go or you feel like you're going to fall off, and then, the bottom falls out as you speed, out of control, downward.
Ingermanson says the scene ought to have a goal (for the protagonist), conflict, and disaster. The sequel should have reacton (to the disaster), a dilemma (makes the proagonist consider what to do next), and then a decision. Without the sequel, how is the character to grow? How will the protagonist ever reach her goal?
This decision (the decision to act, to actually physically do something) morphs into yor character requiring the goal for the next scene, a covenient way to make for action and an efficient, straight line story, instead of one, like some of mine, meandering from this place to that. Meandering is an unnecessary time-out from the story line, possibly fascinating stuff, but not the makings of a real page-turner, which is the bottom-line, elusive story characteristic publishers and readers are looking for these days.
Oh, I almost forgot, here's the link: http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/art/scene.php
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
Does a Good Writing Day Wear You Out?
Today I spent a lot of time rewriting three chapters in my novel. I had sort of painted myself into a corner, so I had to unpaint a little trail out of that corner, got rid of some very good stuff, and added some very good other writing. Some of it was average writing, but what is average to some is a treasure to others. I think what I added wasn't as good as what I took away, but I had to do something to get the plot back on track. You can't have a dead guy come back to life, you know.
So my question to the world of writers out there is: Are they like me, that is, does one or two hour of serious writing or rewriting wears you down? It's kind of like I wrote a fight scene, but when I was done writing it, I felt very much like I'd been through the fight, in fact, I've been through it receiving each of the two fighters blows. I was kind of sweating and tired afterwards, just like I have been in a real fight. Of course, I won't need any bandages, no real blood flowed, no broken bones -- maybe some bony fingers from too much typing -- but golly Miss Molley & Craft Cheese Whiz, I do get pooped.
Probably, it's a good sign, like I really get into it.
Take yesterday, please! (This is my Henny Youngman imitation. Now there's a great first name to add to my name list.) Quoting the funny man: "The food on the plane was fit for a king. 'Here, King!' "
Back to my thread, only yesterday, for example, I ran wild. I pounded out three hours of writing, 1100 words, many of them not new, I just improved the order in which things happen, and, like I said, got rid of some plot point that couldn't have happened, unpainting myself out of that idiotic corner.
How do other writers do what they say they do, write for seven hours a day, five days a week, without completely wearing themselves out? These people must be geniouses beyond my ability to imagine.
There are so many pitfalls to watch out for and move carefully around. Alway, we need to bring in movement, new information; conflict; develop realistically the relationships between talker and listener during dialog, and show (not tell) how the content of the dialog and body language changes the relationship. A key character's motivation must rise from his personality traits and (unwritten) backstory, must stay consistent. Deciding when to explain something a little bit subtle that is necessary later on or deciding simply to let the reader figure it out is a tough choice for me. Coming up with character quirks, making sure the eyebrows are doing the right thing, frowning or rising, without the descriptive words sounding hoaky. I must try to write in a style that is bare and sapare as possible to save precious ink and the reader's time, and I must put enough variety into the chosen words and sentences that the reader stays interested, no, captiviated, enthralled the whole time, for nearly every single page in the novel. Now that's hard.
I make it sound totally hopeless, and that is no accident. I've put up with the dream this far, but it isn't a frivolous question. I'm perfectly serious. Do you need three days away from it after each days struggle with adding, pruning, and improving your novel?
Strangely, I'm on the last five chapters of my seventh go-over (rewrite paints misleading picture) and the story is exciting enough at this point--it's the climax--I'm thrilled that it's all about done, and the resolation, to me, is satisfactory. But will it be to agents and publishers? Maybe that weary thing is just for the middle chapters. Or , hey, just maybe I have dull middle chapters that need to to be axed.
I admit, my novel's a bit long, my writing is very detailed, cinematic I have been told, but the doggone thing is only a couple of weeks away from the query letter phase, and, as I say, I'm elated. --rb
So my question to the world of writers out there is: Are they like me, that is, does one or two hour of serious writing or rewriting wears you down? It's kind of like I wrote a fight scene, but when I was done writing it, I felt very much like I'd been through the fight, in fact, I've been through it receiving each of the two fighters blows. I was kind of sweating and tired afterwards, just like I have been in a real fight. Of course, I won't need any bandages, no real blood flowed, no broken bones -- maybe some bony fingers from too much typing -- but golly Miss Molley & Craft Cheese Whiz, I do get pooped.
Probably, it's a good sign, like I really get into it.
Take yesterday, please! (This is my Henny Youngman imitation. Now there's a great first name to add to my name list.) Quoting the funny man: "The food on the plane was fit for a king. 'Here, King!' "
Back to my thread, only yesterday, for example, I ran wild. I pounded out three hours of writing, 1100 words, many of them not new, I just improved the order in which things happen, and, like I said, got rid of some plot point that couldn't have happened, unpainting myself out of that idiotic corner.
How do other writers do what they say they do, write for seven hours a day, five days a week, without completely wearing themselves out? These people must be geniouses beyond my ability to imagine.
There are so many pitfalls to watch out for and move carefully around. Alway, we need to bring in movement, new information; conflict; develop realistically the relationships between talker and listener during dialog, and show (not tell) how the content of the dialog and body language changes the relationship. A key character's motivation must rise from his personality traits and (unwritten) backstory, must stay consistent. Deciding when to explain something a little bit subtle that is necessary later on or deciding simply to let the reader figure it out is a tough choice for me. Coming up with character quirks, making sure the eyebrows are doing the right thing, frowning or rising, without the descriptive words sounding hoaky. I must try to write in a style that is bare and sapare as possible to save precious ink and the reader's time, and I must put enough variety into the chosen words and sentences that the reader stays interested, no, captiviated, enthralled the whole time, for nearly every single page in the novel. Now that's hard.
I make it sound totally hopeless, and that is no accident. I've put up with the dream this far, but it isn't a frivolous question. I'm perfectly serious. Do you need three days away from it after each days struggle with adding, pruning, and improving your novel?
Strangely, I'm on the last five chapters of my seventh go-over (rewrite paints misleading picture) and the story is exciting enough at this point--it's the climax--I'm thrilled that it's all about done, and the resolation, to me, is satisfactory. But will it be to agents and publishers? Maybe that weary thing is just for the middle chapters. Or , hey, just maybe I have dull middle chapters that need to to be axed.
I admit, my novel's a bit long, my writing is very detailed, cinematic I have been told, but the doggone thing is only a couple of weeks away from the query letter phase, and, as I say, I'm elated. --rb
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Post Mortum of a Poetry Reading
Hey, I had a very fun time reading poetry at the Poetry Center San Jose, reading at the Arts Object Gallery. Thank you Linda Lappin, and to Ken, who had the refreshments and provided his gallery. I think the audience enjoyed it, too. They laughed at all the right places, seemed thoughtful, seemed sad at the right places, and when they threw rotten tomatoes at me, none of them landed.
I tood advantage of a chance during break to chat with a few other poets, small-talk, really–my word, I'm horrible at trying to remember names–I stumbled upon no new earth-shaking secrets. The other reader was a Santa Cruz poet, Dana Cervine, a good reader, but he was a little shy in his commentary, so I heard very little of that. It must have been pretty good because he smiled and laughed a lot. (Dana's day job involves working and managing in children’s mental health for Santa Cruz County.) As I was about to say, I should have the nerve to tell these well-meaning, talented folks to speak up. This fellow has had lots of experience and he seems to spend most of his life writing poems, even does it driving sometimes, if I’m to believe wild stories. If I did that, turn out say a poem a day, most of mine wouldn’t make sense, hance, pretty much be a bunch of drivel, absent of profundity. I come up with a couple of poem-worthy ideas most days--maybe that's a false impression--and I don't have time to put a pen to everything. How is it worth the effort if it isn’t clever or very good, stunning, hitting the listener between the eyes? I don't think anybody gets to be a millionaire writing poetry, no matter how good it is. You have to love the process, the readings, and the marketing of your work. I love my work; it gets rather polished and on-target, given the time for it to mature and bake up tall, brown, sweet, and tasty.
I tood advantage of a chance during break to chat with a few other poets, small-talk, really–my word, I'm horrible at trying to remember names–I stumbled upon no new earth-shaking secrets. The other reader was a Santa Cruz poet, Dana Cervine, a good reader, but he was a little shy in his commentary, so I heard very little of that. It must have been pretty good because he smiled and laughed a lot. (Dana's day job involves working and managing in children’s mental health for Santa Cruz County.) As I was about to say, I should have the nerve to tell these well-meaning, talented folks to speak up. This fellow has had lots of experience and he seems to spend most of his life writing poems, even does it driving sometimes, if I’m to believe wild stories. If I did that, turn out say a poem a day, most of mine wouldn’t make sense, hance, pretty much be a bunch of drivel, absent of profundity. I come up with a couple of poem-worthy ideas most days--maybe that's a false impression--and I don't have time to put a pen to everything. How is it worth the effort if it isn’t clever or very good, stunning, hitting the listener between the eyes? I don't think anybody gets to be a millionaire writing poetry, no matter how good it is. You have to love the process, the readings, and the marketing of your work. I love my work; it gets rather polished and on-target, given the time for it to mature and bake up tall, brown, sweet, and tasty.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
What are you doing Tuesday?
I will be reading my best works on the first Tuesday of October. Here's a reminder for anyone who wants to hear 20 minutes of entertaining, thoughtprovoking, easily understood poetry. Please do attend, smile, cry, throw vegetables, whatever, or just say "hi." For details, read on.
-- Richard Burns Reads His Poetry --
Tuesday, Oct. 6, 2009, 7:30PM
Art Object Gallery
592 North 5th Street
San Jose, CA 95112
http://www.artobjectgallery.com/index.html
(It’s near Jackson Street.)
I've been invited by Linda Lappin, Vice President of PCSJ, to open their Tuesday evening open mike. I will read Award Winners "Cold Temptation" and "TV Is Somethin' " and more. My works include two poems published in the South Bay Writers inaugural anthology, Who Are Our Friends? and Other Works by South Bay Writers, edited by Meredy Amyx, including "America, Don't Pass Me By."
There is an open mike scheduled, one poem from each reader, I think, after my part of the evening.
The evening is sponsored by PCSJ (Poetry Center San Jose ), a poetry club dedicated to the art of poetry and supporting the works of local poets. Find out more about the sponsor at http://pcsj.org/ .
-Richard
A small map:
http://www.google.com/search?q=Art+Object+Gallery&rls=com.microsoft:en-us&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&startIndex=&startPage=1
-- Richard Burns Reads His Poetry --
Tuesday, Oct. 6, 2009, 7:30PM
Art Object Gallery
592 North 5th Street
San Jose, CA 95112
http://www.artobjectgallery.com/index.html
(It’s near Jackson Street.)
I've been invited by Linda Lappin, Vice President of PCSJ, to open their Tuesday evening open mike. I will read Award Winners "Cold Temptation" and "TV Is Somethin' " and more. My works include two poems published in the South Bay Writers inaugural anthology, Who Are Our Friends? and Other Works by South Bay Writers, edited by Meredy Amyx, including "America, Don't Pass Me By."
There is an open mike scheduled, one poem from each reader, I think, after my part of the evening.
The evening is sponsored by PCSJ (Poetry Center San Jose ), a poetry club dedicated to the art of poetry and supporting the works of local poets. Find out more about the sponsor at http://pcsj.org/ .
-Richard
A small map:
http://www.google.com/search?q=Art+Object+Gallery&rls=com.microsoft:en-us&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&startIndex=&startPage=1
Friday, September 11, 2009
eMail Me At ...
My eMail Address changed on 10 Sep 2009 as follows:
richard5599@att.net
If you're someone who contacts me, you should update my email address in your contact list. Or to send me any comments and questions you don't want on the blog, now you know where to send it.
I thank you. -rb
richard5599@att.net
If you're someone who contacts me, you should update my email address in your contact list. Or to send me any comments and questions you don't want on the blog, now you know where to send it.
I thank you. -rb
Sunday, August 9, 2009
My Shoshoni Indian Research Trip
Here are excerpts from email letters, showing my excitement over a research trip to Nevada and Idaho.
From an Aug 1 letter to my step-daughter in Meridian, Idaho:
“Am safely back home (and beat) as of 3pm yesterday (Saturday, Aug 1, 2009), after 4 night-time stays at various motels and five full drive days through Northern CA, NV, and ID. It was fun to see all you again. …
“I took 240 pictures on the trip …
“I told you, I talked to the Tribal Chairman (chief), Dale Barr, of the Paiute-Shoshoni Tribe at Fort McDermitt Reservation, northern NV just off Highway 95. He said, water shortage on some of the lower ranches makes for drought conditions every year. The rancher-Indians suffer from a policy termed "best use" of resources, a bill passed by the Nevada legislature in the 1960s called the McCarron amendment passed. I still need to verify the precise import of this fact through googling. It’s purely a coincidence that the main issue in my novel has my protagonist fighting to keep water on the fictitious reservation near some mountains in Nevada. I got a big kick from our meeting, as I had just dropped in. He had a few minutes to very graciously shoe-horn me into his busy morning.
“Then, after I saw you [my Idaho step-daughter], I visited other Shoshoni Indians, they are in-laws on my ex-wife's side on the South Fork Reservation 26 miles south of Elko, Nevada–I dropped in out of nowhere–I’d misplaced their phone numbers. We had a jolly time talking about Western-Shoshoni (the Nevada version of four or five disparate Shoshoni cultures). We talked about their traditions, myths, religions, and some Numi (Shoshoni) language words I’d forgotten. It was a morning in their grand country. I consider the setting a major "character" in my novel. A photo or two are attached. I hope to post more into a Facebook album….”
And here's this from an Aug 2 email to my niece near Elko, Nevada:
“Hi Dallas [my niece, Shoshoni Indian from her mother’s side, Eutopean from her father's side.] I’m writing my book, Sagebrush at Stony Creek (editing, actually) and found this word. This is my recall for a bush or shrub somebody would stoop behind to go to the bathroom outside in a hurry: gwida-gwahnah …
“How I recall it, `pine-nut pudding' is dib-bah-gweenee. Please let me know if that’s right ….
(This is my own attempt at spelling how it sounds to a speaker of American-English.)
“Also, if younger brother is dahmee (or dahmeechee), Dallas, what is older brother? Thanks. (For the curious student of the Numi language, Te-Mook dialect, spoken south of Elko, NV, my niece's answer was bah-bee means older brother.)
“The grapes and cherries came in handy for my drive home through the long NV desert. Thanks. Had good time out there. I took some great photos of the ruggedly beautiful Ruby Mountains, too,
From an Aug 1 letter to my step-daughter in Meridian, Idaho:
“Am safely back home (and beat) as of 3pm yesterday (Saturday, Aug 1, 2009), after 4 night-time stays at various motels and five full drive days through Northern CA, NV, and ID. It was fun to see all you again. …
“I took 240 pictures on the trip …
“I told you, I talked to the Tribal Chairman (chief), Dale Barr, of the Paiute-Shoshoni Tribe at Fort McDermitt Reservation, northern NV just off Highway 95. He said, water shortage on some of the lower ranches makes for drought conditions every year. The rancher-Indians suffer from a policy termed "best use" of resources, a bill passed by the Nevada legislature in the 1960s called the McCarron amendment passed. I still need to verify the precise import of this fact through googling. It’s purely a coincidence that the main issue in my novel has my protagonist fighting to keep water on the fictitious reservation near some mountains in Nevada. I got a big kick from our meeting, as I had just dropped in. He had a few minutes to very graciously shoe-horn me into his busy morning.
“Then, after I saw you [my Idaho step-daughter], I visited other Shoshoni Indians, they are in-laws on my ex-wife's side on the South Fork Reservation 26 miles south of Elko, Nevada–I dropped in out of nowhere–I’d misplaced their phone numbers. We had a jolly time talking about Western-Shoshoni (the Nevada version of four or five disparate Shoshoni cultures). We talked about their traditions, myths, religions, and some Numi (Shoshoni) language words I’d forgotten. It was a morning in their grand country. I consider the setting a major "character" in my novel. A photo or two are attached. I hope to post more into a Facebook album….”
And here's this from an Aug 2 email to my niece near Elko, Nevada:
“Hi Dallas [my niece, Shoshoni Indian from her mother’s side, Eutopean from her father's side.] I’m writing my book, Sagebrush at Stony Creek (editing, actually) and found this word. This is my recall for a bush or shrub somebody would stoop behind to go to the bathroom outside in a hurry: gwida-gwahnah …
“How I recall it, `pine-nut pudding' is dib-bah-gweenee. Please let me know if that’s right ….
(This is my own attempt at spelling how it sounds to a speaker of American-English.)
“Also, if younger brother is dahmee (or dahmeechee), Dallas, what is older brother? Thanks. (For the curious student of the Numi language, Te-Mook dialect, spoken south of Elko, NV, my niece's answer was bah-bee means older brother.)
“The grapes and cherries came in handy for my drive home through the long NV desert. Thanks. Had good time out there. I took some great photos of the ruggedly beautiful Ruby Mountains, too,
as well as some of the creeks that run through South Fork Reservation (Shoshoni—Te Mook Band). I’ve seen that spelled Te-Moak Band on maps, seems to change every few years. There’s another reservation of that band that I've never visited near Battle Mountain, NV.
“Uncle Richard”
“Uncle Richard”
Friday, June 12, 2009
Books I Like
Books On Writing Right Suggested to Pat Nipper by Richard Burns in Oct 2008
Some of my favorite instructive books are as follows:
Hooked – Write Fiction that Grabs Readers … *****
Les Edgerton
Getting Into Character – Seven Secrets a Novelist Can Learn From Actors *****
Brandilyn Collins
Emotional Structure – Creating the Story Beneath the Plot *****
Peter Dunne
Growing Great Characters from the Ground Up *****
Martha Engber
How to Write Killer Fiction – The Funhouse of Mystery & … *****
Carolyn Wheat
Novelist’s Boot Camp – 101 Ways to Take Your Book from Boring to Bestseller ****
Todd A. Stone
Blockbuster Plots ****
Martha Alderson
Writing the Mind Alive – The Proprioceptive Method for Finding Your Authentic Voice ****
Linda Trichter Metcalf and Tobin Simon
Astrology for Dummies [Helps Me Invent Characters and their Traits] ****
Ray Orion
Creating Characters – How to Build Story People ***
Dwight V. Swain
Writing with Style – Conversations on the Art of Writing [Essays] ***
John R. Trimble
ON DECK (i.e., next to read):
The Complete Idiot’s Guide [to] Getting Published [Yet to be read]
Sheree Bykofsky and Jennifer Baseye Sander
Writing and Selling Your Mystery Novel – How to Knock ‘Em Dead …[Yet to be read]
Hallie Ephron
Don’t Murder Your Mystery – 24 Fiction-Writing Techniques … [Yet to be read]
Chris Roerden
Models for Writers – Short Essays for Composition [Yet to be read – Essay Writing]
Alfred Rosa and Paul Eschholz
Have a good day. Or if it’s bad, make it grist for your writing mill.
Some of my favorite instructive books are as follows:
Hooked – Write Fiction that Grabs Readers … *****
Les Edgerton
Getting Into Character – Seven Secrets a Novelist Can Learn From Actors *****
Brandilyn Collins
Emotional Structure – Creating the Story Beneath the Plot *****
Peter Dunne
Growing Great Characters from the Ground Up *****
Martha Engber
How to Write Killer Fiction – The Funhouse of Mystery & … *****
Carolyn Wheat
Novelist’s Boot Camp – 101 Ways to Take Your Book from Boring to Bestseller ****
Todd A. Stone
Blockbuster Plots ****
Martha Alderson
Writing the Mind Alive – The Proprioceptive Method for Finding Your Authentic Voice ****
Linda Trichter Metcalf and Tobin Simon
Astrology for Dummies [Helps Me Invent Characters and their Traits] ****
Ray Orion
Creating Characters – How to Build Story People ***
Dwight V. Swain
Writing with Style – Conversations on the Art of Writing [Essays] ***
John R. Trimble
ON DECK (i.e., next to read):
The Complete Idiot’s Guide [to] Getting Published [Yet to be read]
Sheree Bykofsky and Jennifer Baseye Sander
Writing and Selling Your Mystery Novel – How to Knock ‘Em Dead …[Yet to be read]
Hallie Ephron
Don’t Murder Your Mystery – 24 Fiction-Writing Techniques … [Yet to be read]
Chris Roerden
Models for Writers – Short Essays for Composition [Yet to be read – Essay Writing]
Alfred Rosa and Paul Eschholz
Have a good day. Or if it’s bad, make it grist for your writing mill.
Procrastination
It's my new swear word: "procrastination." Like my grandpa used to say "tarnation." One of those.
With my long anticipated trip to France coming tomorrow (yes, a week in Paris) and a plethora of other even more lame excuses, my writing time has suffered.
Upon return, I will have a daily reminder on my calendar for a month to write 2 hours per day before drinking coffee and having breakfast. (ALL the time will be dedicated to further polishing my novel, Sagebrush at Snow-Mountain Creek). If nothing else, it should help me lose weight by forcing me to skip breakfast. Ha!
I have posted on my calendar similar reminders to send query letters to agents and any follow up. Do others of you out there in blog-space have a fear of success like I do? Where does this procrastination spring from? Do you have similar tales or secret solutions? --rb
With my long anticipated trip to France coming tomorrow (yes, a week in Paris) and a plethora of other even more lame excuses, my writing time has suffered.
Upon return, I will have a daily reminder on my calendar for a month to write 2 hours per day before drinking coffee and having breakfast. (ALL the time will be dedicated to further polishing my novel, Sagebrush at Snow-Mountain Creek). If nothing else, it should help me lose weight by forcing me to skip breakfast. Ha!
I have posted on my calendar similar reminders to send query letters to agents and any follow up. Do others of you out there in blog-space have a fear of success like I do? Where does this procrastination spring from? Do you have similar tales or secret solutions? --rb
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Sample Poetry Post
Her Ghost
Richard A. Burns
Her ghost is across the table,
Hovering above the chair where my wife used to sit.
It reaches out to me. And yet, I know such an ethereal thing
Won't hold me, can't cook dinner, would never shout that cheery “bye-bye” when headed out to her work-day.
For entire days, there are no signs of this shy, shy guest.
It leaves me alone, and I’m okay. Then, it’s here once more. I'm getting used to her.
Little by little, I push on. I live, laugh, and love.
And my new sentinel surprises me. She silently approves.
Still ... still, I hesitate. Is my visitor watching again? Could she be jealous?
But if she appears, her spirit simply waves and whispers:
“Go on? Don’t worry about treading on dead leaves,
Done with life, floated down from the might-have-been tree.”
You say it’s only a dream-like blur, a memory streaming by,
Like dissipating patches of light fog along my checkerboard path.
But, no, I think not. It’s real.
It’s real as a cold, steady rain on a grave in winter.
Time moves forward, and my friend, a good deal quieter of late,
Shimmers only faintly in the background.
Still, she rights me when I’m about to stack the dishes wrong.
Ghosts would know such things I guess.
Richard A. Burns © June 2008 All rights reserved.
Richard A. Burns
Her ghost is across the table,
Hovering above the chair where my wife used to sit.
It reaches out to me. And yet, I know such an ethereal thing
Won't hold me, can't cook dinner, would never shout that cheery “bye-bye” when headed out to her work-day.
For entire days, there are no signs of this shy, shy guest.
It leaves me alone, and I’m okay. Then, it’s here once more. I'm getting used to her.
Little by little, I push on. I live, laugh, and love.
And my new sentinel surprises me. She silently approves.
Still ... still, I hesitate. Is my visitor watching again? Could she be jealous?
But if she appears, her spirit simply waves and whispers:
“Go on? Don’t worry about treading on dead leaves,
Done with life, floated down from the might-have-been tree.”
You say it’s only a dream-like blur, a memory streaming by,
Like dissipating patches of light fog along my checkerboard path.
But, no, I think not. It’s real.
It’s real as a cold, steady rain on a grave in winter.
Time moves forward, and my friend, a good deal quieter of late,
Shimmers only faintly in the background.
Still, she rights me when I’m about to stack the dishes wrong.
Ghosts would know such things I guess.
Richard A. Burns © June 2008 All rights reserved.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Attended Gold Rush 2009
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I did it. I attended the Gold Rush Writers Conference put on by Antoinette May, this, the fourth annual. It will take me a bit of time to filter my notes down to the essentials, but I took some photos. Take a look:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uF7l4lxd0M
Not sure if these will work as I hope for them to. Omg, they did! Very cool, youtube.
I picked two memoir classes presented by Helen Bonner, Laptop 101 presented by Tom Johnson, and a Poetry Discussion presented by Al Young, former Poet Laureate of California and a professor at UC Berkeley. Lucy Sanna presented some relaxation and focusing tricks. I was given a chance to read four poems on Friday night (May 1), read the climax to my novel Sat. night (Sagebrush at Seven Trout Creek) and the opening of my possible future projects, a memoir, on Sunday morning in the advance memoir class by Helen Bonner.
The poems got the laughs and tears and gasps in most of all the right places. Lots of positive commentary afterwards, a spontaneous reaction that is always a joy. The novel got a great complement by Al Young, who said, "It should be a shoo-in for publishing."
I wish I had the time to write more here. In fact, I wish you had the time to comment more. It’s a good day to work on your project, though. So get to it, okay?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3uF7l4lxd0M
Not sure if these will work as I hope for them to. Omg, they did! Very cool, youtube.
I picked two memoir classes presented by Helen Bonner, Laptop 101 presented by Tom Johnson, and a Poetry Discussion presented by Al Young, former Poet Laureate of California and a professor at UC Berkeley. Lucy Sanna presented some relaxation and focusing tricks. I was given a chance to read four poems on Friday night (May 1), read the climax to my novel Sat. night (Sagebrush at Seven Trout Creek) and the opening of my possible future projects, a memoir, on Sunday morning in the advance memoir class by Helen Bonner.
The poems got the laughs and tears and gasps in most of all the right places. Lots of positive commentary afterwards, a spontaneous reaction that is always a joy. The novel got a great complement by Al Young, who said, "It should be a shoo-in for publishing."
I wish I had the time to write more here. In fact, I wish you had the time to comment more. It’s a good day to work on your project, though. So get to it, okay?
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Deep Analysis of 2 Poems
Below is a recent exchange I had by e-mail. My answers are interspersed. The poems themselves are not in front of you. I'm hoping the analysis is still inlightening to curious writer searching for such discussion or improving her voice.-----
Chrissy: I enjoyed reading your poems very much and like them a lot! Both are very creative, moving, vivid, appealing to senses and feelings, though sad but not despaired or completely depressing, i.e. with sense of hope and recovery. Both used interesting analogies and comparisons. However, they are different. I think "Ode to Sadness" is more abstract and romantic, and "Her Ghost" is more domestic and practical. I sense maybe "Her Ghost" was written at a later time than "Ode to Sadness", when you were a little more recovered from your sadness but still think of and miss her now and then, more so at certain moments of a day than others, especially at dinner time, etc. I like both. But, if I have to pick, maybe I like "Ode to Sadness" even better, as, to me, it's more interesting and with more emotional intensity. What do you say?
There are many things I like in the two poems. For "Ode to Sadness", six three-lined stanzas In !st stanza, it's interesting you set the tone here and take sadness as your friend and use the mud-bath to elephant analogy. But, I'm very curious about how you thought about this when you wrote it.
Rich: I’d like to grow at poetry so I don’t have to wait around for inspiration (just “being me”) and being able to write from other people’s or a hypothetical person’s view point, but until then, I write just as I feel. “Wallowing” is a kind of common phrase for me, especially in self-talk, “although like an elephant” is not particularly how I generally put it or visualize it. It could be a pig, or other, wallowing critter, I suppose. But I didn’t like visualizing a pig, which connotes dirtiness more than I wanted. So that never came to mind. I’ve seen wallowing elephants more than once on PBS, so it jumped to mind as a good metaphor (at least, okay), including the needing of the messiness and kind of lazy relaxation and taking the assertive action to assuage a longstanding, hopeless irritation. Elephants are big like sadness is big.
Chrissy: 2nd and 3rd stanzas are very important ones, as they make us feel your sad feelings. I like your pick "pillow". One key word promotes so much associations and truly invokes readers' feelings. A picture's worth a thousand words. "Wrap it around my face and breathe in her perfume", such a vivid image, successfully bring readers to your position and feel what you feel.
Rich: Yeah, I love it, too. But it does kind of clash with the preceding elephant image, probably the main problems with the poem. Still, I feel this poem is among my biggest creative triumphs.
Chrissy: It must be sad and miserable beyond words for a surviving lover or spouse tossing in bed endlessly during those initial sleepless nights. It expressed how much you missed her more effectively than words could. 2nd stanza uses image and 3rd summarizes it in words, both convey the sad sad feelings. I really like the image and think it's such a success.
Rich: It’s not as though my wife and I never clashed. We did in some areas; love kind of fades into an acceptable living arrangement, complete with obvious positives and unspoken negatives. Surprising, no, shocking, to me, in having suffered through her dying, is how change, especially very sudden change to whole life style, etc. is so very difficult for humans to go through—high on the stress-meter. A relationship breaking up is difficult the same way. But the focus of this poem properly remains how the emotion of feeling sad actually helps humans cope; even helps us to face our inevitably tragic futures. (I don’t intend that little statement to be a downer, just factual.)
Chrissy: The 4th stanza, I kinda like the analogy, but not really clear if it's fog or a seducing woman who leads you to a dark place (without sun) and played you, and like very much to hear from you about your thoughts on this.
Rich: I think I’ve taken poetic license to stray and explore some tentative thoughts, not necessarily truths for all time. Certainly, your mind is not as clear as it was (foggy) when sadness strikes. Then I’ve personified sadness--like a student of poetry, but hope it comes across as seamless--and I made "her" (i.e., sadness) a surrogate intimate entity. Intimacy can have traits other than purely sexual, and is important in a successful relationship between mates. To me, physical touching is important. Here, I attempt to tenderly show it.
Chrissy: For 5th stanza, I love all these comparisons. Very interesting thoughts!
Rich: Thank you.
Chrissy: For 6th stanza, as I mentioned before, I like your inner strength of seeing hope, thus making it a positive end ....
Rich: Yeah, some people interpret me as a gloomy guy, and I wanted to not end up there.
Chrissy: ... despite the fact that you still feel sad sometimes. Same as in 1st stanza, I'm curious about exactly how you take sadness, your attitude in general toward sadness. You call it your friend, you like it, need it or cannot help being with it?
Rich: I think I accept sadness as a necessary seemingly-evil thing, like, say, taking a poop. That is completely natural, normal, proves your getting well-nourished, and yet it is taken so negative by our society. I want to sell sadness as normal. My Aunt treats everything in public, social situations as having to be happy and have a happy ending. Then, she can't accept awful things, e.g., she can't talk about them or even allow others to. For example, recently she couldn't face telling me that her daughter was dying of cancer (I finally visited my cousin in her last miserable days). I like balance. I love life and the life force we have. But I don’t deny the “negative.” In a Buddhist sort of view, death (after a good, full life) is actually a good thing. I’m doing something similarly, but with a not quite as socially negatively-charged subject.
Chrissy: I think Ode is a very good choice of poem form for your topic. I wonder what's your definition of ode? From what I learned in my Creative Writing class, it has no fixed rules or format.
Rich: I couldn’t figure out a decent, all encompassing title by excising a few words from the poem, so “Ode …” helps me a lot. It implies, “Let’s analyze sadness”, but avoids people skipping reading the poem if I had just named it “Sadness.” The latter is perfectly logical, but pre-charges the discussion with negativity. Ode is more neutral and has the possibility for being positive subject matter.
Chrissy: Is that [i.e., no fixed form or format] what you think, too? You had six three-lined stanzas for your ode, was it your choice? For any particular reasons?
Rich: It’s just how it popped out of my brain—of, course, there were rewrites, to pare it down to the essentials. It could be a one very-long stanza poem, but I’m a lousy reader, and like a lot of white space. Stanzas help to break it up into bite sized chunks.. You will also note, I strive for clarity in the view I’m presenting. I’m an engineer. No artful mysteries added if I can avoid it. That’s just me. There’s room in the world for phantasmagorical writing, but it’s not where I want to be for my own work, so far.
Chrissy: Anyway, I like to hear your thoughts or anything you want say or explain about your poem. Oh, I'm too slow. I only talked about one poem and it's this late again. Alright, next time. The good thing is I don't need to get up so early taking kids to school. My daughter's 0 period, starting at 7am, is killing me, as I'm not an early person.
Rich: The ghost poem is much more difficult because it bumps up against fictional things, and needs to blend them optimally with reality to get across what I’m trying to. It’s a less important and less successful poem in my opinion, too, but there’s a place for what it touches on. Kevin Arnold work-shopped it at last year's Gold Rush Writers Conference and likes it a lot, but wished I had explained: Was the ghost a continuation of my wife—and in what sense—or was the ghost something separate, spawned by my wife’s death? Perhaps another way to say it, should I call the ghost an “it” or should I call it a “her,” meaning my wife’s "soul," perhaps a white sheeted floating thing, a Casper-the-Ghost with my wife's personality or a changed personality for having "crossed over." Kind of deep, but the way I did it begs that line of questioning. Another way to state it: I’m an engineer, okay? Never in my adult life did I believe in ghosts, angels, gods, such things. Is the ghost poems saying that now I do believe? And Kevin felt I should clarify that and why or why not. But more recently he said that poem in particular sticks in his mind. Quite a compliment.
Chrissy: TGI Friday!
Rich: Having bored you to death, I say have a good week. Hey, longer is okay, too! I need to get to work on Ode To Happiness. --the end--
Chrissy: I enjoyed reading your poems very much and like them a lot! Both are very creative, moving, vivid, appealing to senses and feelings, though sad but not despaired or completely depressing, i.e. with sense of hope and recovery. Both used interesting analogies and comparisons. However, they are different. I think "Ode to Sadness" is more abstract and romantic, and "Her Ghost" is more domestic and practical. I sense maybe "Her Ghost" was written at a later time than "Ode to Sadness", when you were a little more recovered from your sadness but still think of and miss her now and then, more so at certain moments of a day than others, especially at dinner time, etc. I like both. But, if I have to pick, maybe I like "Ode to Sadness" even better, as, to me, it's more interesting and with more emotional intensity. What do you say?
There are many things I like in the two poems. For "Ode to Sadness", six three-lined stanzas In !st stanza, it's interesting you set the tone here and take sadness as your friend and use the mud-bath to elephant analogy. But, I'm very curious about how you thought about this when you wrote it.
Rich: I’d like to grow at poetry so I don’t have to wait around for inspiration (just “being me”) and being able to write from other people’s or a hypothetical person’s view point, but until then, I write just as I feel. “Wallowing” is a kind of common phrase for me, especially in self-talk, “although like an elephant” is not particularly how I generally put it or visualize it. It could be a pig, or other, wallowing critter, I suppose. But I didn’t like visualizing a pig, which connotes dirtiness more than I wanted. So that never came to mind. I’ve seen wallowing elephants more than once on PBS, so it jumped to mind as a good metaphor (at least, okay), including the needing of the messiness and kind of lazy relaxation and taking the assertive action to assuage a longstanding, hopeless irritation. Elephants are big like sadness is big.
Chrissy: 2nd and 3rd stanzas are very important ones, as they make us feel your sad feelings. I like your pick "pillow". One key word promotes so much associations and truly invokes readers' feelings. A picture's worth a thousand words. "Wrap it around my face and breathe in her perfume", such a vivid image, successfully bring readers to your position and feel what you feel.
Rich: Yeah, I love it, too. But it does kind of clash with the preceding elephant image, probably the main problems with the poem. Still, I feel this poem is among my biggest creative triumphs.
Chrissy: It must be sad and miserable beyond words for a surviving lover or spouse tossing in bed endlessly during those initial sleepless nights. It expressed how much you missed her more effectively than words could. 2nd stanza uses image and 3rd summarizes it in words, both convey the sad sad feelings. I really like the image and think it's such a success.
Rich: It’s not as though my wife and I never clashed. We did in some areas; love kind of fades into an acceptable living arrangement, complete with obvious positives and unspoken negatives. Surprising, no, shocking, to me, in having suffered through her dying, is how change, especially very sudden change to whole life style, etc. is so very difficult for humans to go through—high on the stress-meter. A relationship breaking up is difficult the same way. But the focus of this poem properly remains how the emotion of feeling sad actually helps humans cope; even helps us to face our inevitably tragic futures. (I don’t intend that little statement to be a downer, just factual.)
Chrissy: The 4th stanza, I kinda like the analogy, but not really clear if it's fog or a seducing woman who leads you to a dark place (without sun) and played you, and like very much to hear from you about your thoughts on this.
Rich: I think I’ve taken poetic license to stray and explore some tentative thoughts, not necessarily truths for all time. Certainly, your mind is not as clear as it was (foggy) when sadness strikes. Then I’ve personified sadness--like a student of poetry, but hope it comes across as seamless--and I made "her" (i.e., sadness) a surrogate intimate entity. Intimacy can have traits other than purely sexual, and is important in a successful relationship between mates. To me, physical touching is important. Here, I attempt to tenderly show it.
Chrissy: For 5th stanza, I love all these comparisons. Very interesting thoughts!
Rich: Thank you.
Chrissy: For 6th stanza, as I mentioned before, I like your inner strength of seeing hope, thus making it a positive end ....
Rich: Yeah, some people interpret me as a gloomy guy, and I wanted to not end up there.
Chrissy: ... despite the fact that you still feel sad sometimes. Same as in 1st stanza, I'm curious about exactly how you take sadness, your attitude in general toward sadness. You call it your friend, you like it, need it or cannot help being with it?
Rich: I think I accept sadness as a necessary seemingly-evil thing, like, say, taking a poop. That is completely natural, normal, proves your getting well-nourished, and yet it is taken so negative by our society. I want to sell sadness as normal. My Aunt treats everything in public, social situations as having to be happy and have a happy ending. Then, she can't accept awful things, e.g., she can't talk about them or even allow others to. For example, recently she couldn't face telling me that her daughter was dying of cancer (I finally visited my cousin in her last miserable days). I like balance. I love life and the life force we have. But I don’t deny the “negative.” In a Buddhist sort of view, death (after a good, full life) is actually a good thing. I’m doing something similarly, but with a not quite as socially negatively-charged subject.
Chrissy: I think Ode is a very good choice of poem form for your topic. I wonder what's your definition of ode? From what I learned in my Creative Writing class, it has no fixed rules or format.
Rich: I couldn’t figure out a decent, all encompassing title by excising a few words from the poem, so “Ode …” helps me a lot. It implies, “Let’s analyze sadness”, but avoids people skipping reading the poem if I had just named it “Sadness.” The latter is perfectly logical, but pre-charges the discussion with negativity. Ode is more neutral and has the possibility for being positive subject matter.
Chrissy: Is that [i.e., no fixed form or format] what you think, too? You had six three-lined stanzas for your ode, was it your choice? For any particular reasons?
Rich: It’s just how it popped out of my brain—of, course, there were rewrites, to pare it down to the essentials. It could be a one very-long stanza poem, but I’m a lousy reader, and like a lot of white space. Stanzas help to break it up into bite sized chunks.. You will also note, I strive for clarity in the view I’m presenting. I’m an engineer. No artful mysteries added if I can avoid it. That’s just me. There’s room in the world for phantasmagorical writing, but it’s not where I want to be for my own work, so far.
Chrissy: Anyway, I like to hear your thoughts or anything you want say or explain about your poem. Oh, I'm too slow. I only talked about one poem and it's this late again. Alright, next time. The good thing is I don't need to get up so early taking kids to school. My daughter's 0 period, starting at 7am, is killing me, as I'm not an early person.
Rich: The ghost poem is much more difficult because it bumps up against fictional things, and needs to blend them optimally with reality to get across what I’m trying to. It’s a less important and less successful poem in my opinion, too, but there’s a place for what it touches on. Kevin Arnold work-shopped it at last year's Gold Rush Writers Conference and likes it a lot, but wished I had explained: Was the ghost a continuation of my wife—and in what sense—or was the ghost something separate, spawned by my wife’s death? Perhaps another way to say it, should I call the ghost an “it” or should I call it a “her,” meaning my wife’s "soul," perhaps a white sheeted floating thing, a Casper-the-Ghost with my wife's personality or a changed personality for having "crossed over." Kind of deep, but the way I did it begs that line of questioning. Another way to state it: I’m an engineer, okay? Never in my adult life did I believe in ghosts, angels, gods, such things. Is the ghost poems saying that now I do believe? And Kevin felt I should clarify that and why or why not. But more recently he said that poem in particular sticks in his mind. Quite a compliment.
Chrissy: TGI Friday!
Rich: Having bored you to death, I say have a good week. Hey, longer is okay, too! I need to get to work on Ode To Happiness. --the end--
Friday, April 24, 2009
A Poetry Award
Jan,
A minor award, but if I don’t brag about my life, who else will? I wrote an ode to Chocolate Ice Cream. I think I haven’t work-shopped it with our group, but I did with Edie’s group. (“Very sensuous,” someone commented.) I have read it at a few open mikes including the Mokelumne Hill Gold Rush Conference, with laughs in all the right places. I had it printed in WritersTalk, last year’s “poetry” (May 2008) edition, and it won 1st (poetry) prize for the WritersTalk Challenge for that six-months. $40 richer for it and I nice little plaque on my wall.
I list it on my recent list of “published” articles on my web-site at http://www.writerichly.blogspot.com/. I presume you’re all curious so I include the poem below. – Rich
[So, below, here on my blogspot.blog, I only include the first 20% of the work. If you want more, you can get it by putting in a comment/response on this blog. In fact, thank you in advance for doing that. It’s a pretty good poem, IMHO. In the contest judges’ opinions , too, apparently.]
A minor award, but if I don’t brag about my life, who else will? I wrote an ode to Chocolate Ice Cream. I think I haven’t work-shopped it with our group, but I did with Edie’s group. (“Very sensuous,” someone commented.) I have read it at a few open mikes including the Mokelumne Hill Gold Rush Conference, with laughs in all the right places. I had it printed in WritersTalk, last year’s “poetry” (May 2008) edition, and it won 1st (poetry) prize for the WritersTalk Challenge for that six-months. $40 richer for it and I nice little plaque on my wall.
I list it on my recent list of “published” articles on my web-site at http://www.writerichly.blogspot.com/. I presume you’re all curious so I include the poem below. – Rich
[So, below, here on my blogspot.blog, I only include the first 20% of the work. If you want more, you can get it by putting in a comment/response on this blog. In fact, thank you in advance for doing that. It’s a pretty good poem, IMHO. In the contest judges’ opinions , too, apparently.]
Cold Temptation
Richard A. Burns
For months I hardly know you exist, thank God.
One day, I slip up. I get a glimpse of your come-hither package at the store;
I allow it into my cart, a small sin in the scheme of things, I tell myself,
But this is the beginning of my fall.
I hide you in a cold, icy place for a day, maybe, a week.
All the while you bide your time,
Tapping your impatient fingers, waiting for me … for tonight.
You play possum, you naughty thing.
Richard A. Burns
For months I hardly know you exist, thank God.
One day, I slip up. I get a glimpse of your come-hither package at the store;
I allow it into my cart, a small sin in the scheme of things, I tell myself,
But this is the beginning of my fall.
I hide you in a cold, icy place for a day, maybe, a week.
All the while you bide your time,
Tapping your impatient fingers, waiting for me … for tonight.
You play possum, you naughty thing.
... [etc., etc.]
There is more; just ask. -rb
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Publishing Cycle
Here's an e-mail I wrote to a friend about the foibles of publishing my novel, Sagebrush at Seven Trout Creek:
Hey, Mac,
These days, you write fiction because you love writing or you think you tell great stories. Getting it published by a reputable house is very iffy unless you're an established commodity like, say, a Grisham, a Clancy, or a Mary Higgins Clark. (Many women's books are what I call "precious" and are boring (no action or conflict). Another large group have strongly religious (Christian) views and sold mainly in Christian bookstores or web-sites. To me, these don't count, but they still make money. I don't consider them literature at all, but I suppose it's dangerous to group all such books into this "unreadable" category. They would say the same about what I write.)
Many people are going the self-publish route, which is getting easier and easier. I want a real publisher because publishing/marketing your own book means visiting hundreds of bookstores for little promotional chats all over the country. Even worse, these days people, especially men, do not read fiction nearly as much as 30 years ago.
I have two agents asking for a query letter The "Query" is a somewhat formalized request for them to read one's first 20 pages. If they're not very impressed with the query letter or the first 20 pages, they write you a rejection letter. When I spoke with both of them at a writers conference in September, I got scared that I needed the work trimmed down a lot, say, 95,000 words down to 65,000 words. So I'm still doing that, even before sending out the query letter. Unless you're just a plain genius, it ain't easy.
I can rewrite and polish something to death. My wife always complained of that about me. On the other hand, my writing has improved vastly from conferences, books, my critique group, my articles in our newsletter, and my laborious/rigorous rewriting process.
I ought to put out the query letters today, realizing there will likely be a four-week (or more) delay before an answer comes, and my first 20 pages is pretty well set (prepared to be sent), anyway In other words, I should poop or get off the pot, as Gary Labelle used to say.
If either one accepts, I send them the whole manuscript, probably e-mail MS Word attachment, double-spaced, by their specific format rules. If either one thinks it's pretty good or very good, we'd shake hands on the deal (no advances for fiction), and he'd assign my work to an editor. That professional editor would ask for small tweaks, corrections, questions about character's motivations not being clear, etc. I'm easy, so I'd change those things that would make sense. If his company still thinks it will make money, which is always the big question in commercial writing, they would give it the green light and publish it. I'd probably still be on the hook for a whole bunch of book signings at bookstores, but at least I would know it's legitimate, somebody in the industry thinks it has promise, it would get book reviews, and be easily available on Amazon and at chain bookstores.
If I fail to get interest, I'll wallpaper my living room with rejection letters. After I cry a lot, I might self-published, just to have it all in one place, under one cover. Then try my hand at marketing at local talks and signings. I'm very tempted to self publish a volume of poetry. I've had several people request that of me, which bolsters my confidence a lot. After a two month rest, I'd start structuring my next novel, which is about launching one of our (Silicon Valley) technical products on a Space Shuttle mission in 1988, and the reader will find out the protagonist designer's products caused it to explode. Recall that disastrous launch Reagan witnessed back then.
As Mark Twain said, I would have written a shorter letter if I had the time.
So, hey, Mac, keep your head down, and follow through. Golf is 85% mental. Writing commercially is 85% luck. --Rich
Hey, Mac,
These days, you write fiction because you love writing or you think you tell great stories. Getting it published by a reputable house is very iffy unless you're an established commodity like, say, a Grisham, a Clancy, or a Mary Higgins Clark. (Many women's books are what I call "precious" and are boring (no action or conflict). Another large group have strongly religious (Christian) views and sold mainly in Christian bookstores or web-sites. To me, these don't count, but they still make money. I don't consider them literature at all, but I suppose it's dangerous to group all such books into this "unreadable" category. They would say the same about what I write.)
Many people are going the self-publish route, which is getting easier and easier. I want a real publisher because publishing/marketing your own book means visiting hundreds of bookstores for little promotional chats all over the country. Even worse, these days people, especially men, do not read fiction nearly as much as 30 years ago.
I have two agents asking for a query letter The "Query" is a somewhat formalized request for them to read one's first 20 pages. If they're not very impressed with the query letter or the first 20 pages, they write you a rejection letter. When I spoke with both of them at a writers conference in September, I got scared that I needed the work trimmed down a lot, say, 95,000 words down to 65,000 words. So I'm still doing that, even before sending out the query letter. Unless you're just a plain genius, it ain't easy.
I can rewrite and polish something to death. My wife always complained of that about me. On the other hand, my writing has improved vastly from conferences, books, my critique group, my articles in our newsletter, and my laborious/rigorous rewriting process.
I ought to put out the query letters today, realizing there will likely be a four-week (or more) delay before an answer comes, and my first 20 pages is pretty well set (prepared to be sent), anyway In other words, I should poop or get off the pot, as Gary Labelle used to say.
If either one accepts, I send them the whole manuscript, probably e-mail MS Word attachment, double-spaced, by their specific format rules. If either one thinks it's pretty good or very good, we'd shake hands on the deal (no advances for fiction), and he'd assign my work to an editor. That professional editor would ask for small tweaks, corrections, questions about character's motivations not being clear, etc. I'm easy, so I'd change those things that would make sense. If his company still thinks it will make money, which is always the big question in commercial writing, they would give it the green light and publish it. I'd probably still be on the hook for a whole bunch of book signings at bookstores, but at least I would know it's legitimate, somebody in the industry thinks it has promise, it would get book reviews, and be easily available on Amazon and at chain bookstores.
If I fail to get interest, I'll wallpaper my living room with rejection letters. After I cry a lot, I might self-published, just to have it all in one place, under one cover. Then try my hand at marketing at local talks and signings. I'm very tempted to self publish a volume of poetry. I've had several people request that of me, which bolsters my confidence a lot. After a two month rest, I'd start structuring my next novel, which is about launching one of our (Silicon Valley) technical products on a Space Shuttle mission in 1988, and the reader will find out the protagonist designer's products caused it to explode. Recall that disastrous launch Reagan witnessed back then.
As Mark Twain said, I would have written a shorter letter if I had the time.
So, hey, Mac, keep your head down, and follow through. Golf is 85% mental. Writing commercially is 85% luck. --Rich
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Help from Shoshone Indians
I'd like to make contact with Shoshone Indian(s) interested in telling short, true vignettes (stories) of how discrimination or perceived discrimination was manifested and affected your life. I am a white person (Irish descent) writing a novel set in the 1950s in Western-Shoshone Indian Reservation (Ta-Moak Band) 26 miles south of Elko, Nevada, on the west side of the Ruby Mountains. Comments don't need to be from people in that area; I'm just sharing details of my project so you know what I am about.
My objective is to improve my novel, allow for good guys and bad guys to be both white men and Indians, like real life, without becoming ridiculously stereotypical.
I'd like to get religious information, especially with regards to stories of how newe (the people -- -- the Shoshone Indian people) came on earth many generations ago and the role of animals as having special powers (like gods). Perhaps you recall any old Indian traditions handed-down that you remember grandma doing to help someone who was sick, perhaps a medicine men in the tribe, odd characters, outstanding chiefs, etc.
One of my goals is to stay realistic, have an exciting new adventure, and crafting a novel that will not be dismissed because it has unrealistic political bias. I feel I am unbiased and want to check on that. This is ranch country and people who ride horses on dirt roads as easily as driving the old pickup that needs the battery charged every morning in winter, perhaps with no electricity to their ranch or trailer.
Serious volunteers can read parts of my book and, hopefully, tell me which parts are okay and which parts make their skin crawl. Thanks for any help. I've been married in the past to a Shoshone woman and knew people on the "South Fork" Reservation quite well, but have minimal day-to-day contact with them. My nephews live there. I've harvested hay manually with them a few times, and some of my favorite people live there.
Am also curious about details of Tribal Council meetings. Please answer to this blog so I can score some "followers." Or you may choose to contact me at my e-mail: richard.a.burns@comcast.net. Thanks again for any help.
Richard A. Burns, novelist, author of unpublished novel, Sagebrush Charlie at Seven Trout Creek.
My objective is to improve my novel, allow for good guys and bad guys to be both white men and Indians, like real life, without becoming ridiculously stereotypical.
I'd like to get religious information, especially with regards to stories of how newe (the people -- -- the Shoshone Indian people) came on earth many generations ago and the role of animals as having special powers (like gods). Perhaps you recall any old Indian traditions handed-down that you remember grandma doing to help someone who was sick, perhaps a medicine men in the tribe, odd characters, outstanding chiefs, etc.
One of my goals is to stay realistic, have an exciting new adventure, and crafting a novel that will not be dismissed because it has unrealistic political bias. I feel I am unbiased and want to check on that. This is ranch country and people who ride horses on dirt roads as easily as driving the old pickup that needs the battery charged every morning in winter, perhaps with no electricity to their ranch or trailer.
Serious volunteers can read parts of my book and, hopefully, tell me which parts are okay and which parts make their skin crawl. Thanks for any help. I've been married in the past to a Shoshone woman and knew people on the "South Fork" Reservation quite well, but have minimal day-to-day contact with them. My nephews live there. I've harvested hay manually with them a few times, and some of my favorite people live there.
Am also curious about details of Tribal Council meetings. Please answer to this blog so I can score some "followers." Or you may choose to contact me at my e-mail: richard.a.burns@comcast.net. Thanks again for any help.
Richard A. Burns, novelist, author of unpublished novel, Sagebrush Charlie at Seven Trout Creek.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Shameless Touting of My Works
For the curious people out there, here is a listing of a few of my published poems and a couple of prizewinners:
Published in California Writers Club, South Bay Writers newsletter Writers Talk (WT)--
WT, January 2009 -- "Being a Man Is Better" -- page 12
WT, May 2008 -- "Cold Temptation" -- page 14*
WT, May 2008 -- "To Dance" -- page 14
WT, May 2008 -- "America, Don't Pass Me By" -- page 15
WT, May 2008 -- "Silence Is Golden" -- page 15
WT, May 2008 -- "How Are Things, Mr. President?" -- page 15
WT, December 2007 -- "Are You Missing Something?" -- page 15.
Anthology of Short Stories and Poetry entitled: Who Are Our Friends? and Other Works By South Bay Writers
See pg 20, "America Don't Pass Me By"
See pg 52, "Are you missing Something?"
Contest Winners
East of Eden Writers Conference, 2006 -- " TV Is Somethin’ ", Third Prize, Poetry*
WritersTalk, August 2006 Issue -- "I Wished", Second Prize (First Prize in Poetry)
Flash Fiction.
Collision -- July 2007, page 19
Short Stories, Memoire Vignettes
Grandpa's Christmas Tree -- December 2008, page 11.
The Ninth Hole – May 2007, page 17
Mark and the Storm, in The Sand Hill Review 2006
Other journalistic articles for WritersTalk newsletter –
June Recap, Tim Meyers Speaks on Writing -- July 2008, page 1
The Education of a Fiction Writer, #3, Sharpen Your Tools: Words and Phrases -- April 2008, page 4
Creating Story Plots That Sell (on Martha Alderson's talk) -- March 2008, page 5
The Education of a Fiction Writer, #1 -- January 2008, page 5
Halloween Meeting Recap, Barry Eisler Speaks – November 2007, page 4
A Talk with Bill Baldwin -- October 2007, page 4.
Notes from My Scratch-Pad [Excuses for not writing] -- October 2007, page 18.
* Prize Winner
This list is partial. I haven't found all the back issues of WritersTalk. My novel Sagebrush In Green Fields (in work) I also hope to publish SOON!
Published in California Writers Club, South Bay Writers newsletter Writers Talk (WT)--
WT, January 2009 -- "Being a Man Is Better" -- page 12
WT, May 2008 -- "Cold Temptation" -- page 14*
WT, May 2008 -- "To Dance" -- page 14
WT, May 2008 -- "America, Don't Pass Me By" -- page 15
WT, May 2008 -- "Silence Is Golden" -- page 15
WT, May 2008 -- "How Are Things, Mr. President?" -- page 15
WT, December 2007 -- "Are You Missing Something?" -- page 15.
Anthology of Short Stories and Poetry entitled: Who Are Our Friends? and Other Works By South Bay Writers
See pg 20, "America Don't Pass Me By"
See pg 52, "Are you missing Something?"
Contest Winners
East of Eden Writers Conference, 2006 -- " TV Is Somethin’ ", Third Prize, Poetry*
WritersTalk, August 2006 Issue -- "I Wished", Second Prize (First Prize in Poetry)
Flash Fiction.
Collision -- July 2007, page 19
Short Stories, Memoire Vignettes
Grandpa's Christmas Tree -- December 2008, page 11.
The Ninth Hole – May 2007, page 17
Mark and the Storm, in The Sand Hill Review 2006
Other journalistic articles for WritersTalk newsletter –
June Recap, Tim Meyers Speaks on Writing -- July 2008, page 1
The Education of a Fiction Writer, #3, Sharpen Your Tools: Words and Phrases -- April 2008, page 4
Creating Story Plots That Sell (on Martha Alderson's talk) -- March 2008, page 5
The Education of a Fiction Writer, #1 -- January 2008, page 5
Halloween Meeting Recap, Barry Eisler Speaks – November 2007, page 4
A Talk with Bill Baldwin -- October 2007, page 4.
Notes from My Scratch-Pad [Excuses for not writing] -- October 2007, page 18.
* Prize Winner
This list is partial. I haven't found all the back issues of WritersTalk. My novel Sagebrush In Green Fields (in work) I also hope to publish SOON!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Two Burns Poems Published
Beg, buy, or borrow (please, don't steal) a copy of Who Are Our Friends? And Other Works by South Bay Writers. On Page 20 is my poem, "America, Don't Pass Me By," and on page 52, another poem by yours truly, "Are You Missing Something?" (I apologize that these two poems actually rhyme and are easy to understand. I'll try to get better at being obnoxiously obtuse.)
Other works in the 150 page anthology includes fiction by Meredy Amyx, Carolyn Donnell, Beth Proudfoot, and others. Swann Li's short story is the title piece for for the South Bay Writers anthology. Nonfiction works, poetry, and memoir vignettes are also included. We contributors belong to a branch of the California Writers Club, its largest Branch.
The softback book can be ordered at southbaywriters.com $12.50 each (plus California tax plus shipping and handling).
There's nothing quite like spending your hours of typing, rewriting, optimizing, temporarily giving up, suffering through feedback that can rip out your heart, wiping sweat from your forehead, and the wiping away of tears after some piece of work finally really moves you and at last seeing it transformed into solid pages of literature, possibly for the ages. Meredy Amyx, edited the work, and she was a joy to work with (but tough and opinionated like most any good editor).
Maybe money is tight right now, but so is good, imaginative writing. This might be your cup of tea.
Btw, I'm open to adding more of my work to any anthology of poems and short stories that you may be working on. Blog me back or e-mail me at richard.a.burns@comcast.net .
-rb ;^)
Monday, January 19, 2009
Use Specifics
Here’s an email I wrote to someone in a critique group who had just written me a quick note on one of my suggested tweaks to her latest chapter:
"Hi Connie,
"Funny thing. For some reason, during breakfast or my wake-up dream or something, I thought of your novel and your bad guy, Don Dillman. Right now he's just a name to me, maybe with some hearsay badness about him. We know he gets Sally's hair to stand on end. We ought to see an example of his couple most villainous traits on display in some side, indirect way, not specifically against Sally. Don will come more alive for the reader instead of being just a stand-in "name" for evil. We readers need to see it happen, not just by hearsay (in just a sentence here or there, not take an entire chapter or anything), maybe some rude, thoughtless remark at one of his helpers or henchmen or some other way to illustrate a specific "talent" that can be used later against Sally.
"And, I'm sure you know the following: no matter how sound anyone's advice, you don't have to use every comment in some mechanical way. It's your option to not use our "helps." The story (and reader satisfaction) should be king.
"I'm just talking as in chatting, but it's nice from my point of view to have two or three regulars in our group helping me see some angles I hadn't stopped long enough to consider. I appreciate the group for that, even if it does slow my apparent writing volume down.
"Thanks for stopping to say something on my quick jotting."
Critique groups are one way, sometimes a bit trying and time consuming, to make sure what you write makes sense to the general reader out there. The key here is how "using specifics" can enliven your fiction. Also,show us, don't just tell us about important traits of your characters.
Write on, everyone.
"Hi Connie,
"Funny thing. For some reason, during breakfast or my wake-up dream or something, I thought of your novel and your bad guy, Don Dillman. Right now he's just a name to me, maybe with some hearsay badness about him. We know he gets Sally's hair to stand on end. We ought to see an example of his couple most villainous traits on display in some side, indirect way, not specifically against Sally. Don will come more alive for the reader instead of being just a stand-in "name" for evil. We readers need to see it happen, not just by hearsay (in just a sentence here or there, not take an entire chapter or anything), maybe some rude, thoughtless remark at one of his helpers or henchmen or some other way to illustrate a specific "talent" that can be used later against Sally.
"And, I'm sure you know the following: no matter how sound anyone's advice, you don't have to use every comment in some mechanical way. It's your option to not use our "helps." The story (and reader satisfaction) should be king.
"I'm just talking as in chatting, but it's nice from my point of view to have two or three regulars in our group helping me see some angles I hadn't stopped long enough to consider. I appreciate the group for that, even if it does slow my apparent writing volume down.
"Thanks for stopping to say something on my quick jotting."
Critique groups are one way, sometimes a bit trying and time consuming, to make sure what you write makes sense to the general reader out there. The key here is how "using specifics" can enliven your fiction. Also,show us, don't just tell us about important traits of your characters.
Write on, everyone.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Hook Your Reader
… AND reel that elusive fighting little fellow in. Here’s the bit I sent to Becky Levine’s blog this morning. (See http://beckylevine.com/2008/11/30/les-edgertons-hooked/ .) It’s pertains to one of my favorite books on writing fiction … well, I guess the principle needn’t be limited to fiction. (This version has been changed a bit; I can't let little things go.)
The thrust of the book (Hooked by Les Edgeron) is that readers have shorter attention spans now than in the days before 250 channels on TV. Edgerton is no slouch of a teacher on this modern day imperative, namely, introducing the nub of the conflict, action, and key characters early. And I mean early, like in the first sentence. How? Read the book for answers.
I've been handing this small format, paperback to folks in my writers critique group. I don't like pandering to low-attention readers–am I only adding to a bad trend?–but there's a bunch of competition for what used to be "reading time." Thx for good article, Becky [Levine]. [Becky had written a review of Hooked in her blog, so that's what I'm thanking her for.]
So there it is in a nutshell. Especially if you’re a beginner and haven’t bounced a lot of bad tries off of irritated agents, editors, and publishers. Why not go in armed with this knowledge? Why not reflect it in your much improved work? Oh, sure, keep your basic story and your trademark “voice.” Tweak up those characters the way you like to. Keep that energy, that inspiration you have pent up inside you and apply your butt to the chair in front of your keyboard. Les Edgerton is mainly working a bit on the structure here, especially the first few chapters, in this quick little book, condensing all those first words you wrote down to essentials, piquing interest right away. It’s a short enough book at 236 pages. I got it at Amazon. Sell something in 2009, and I'll try to match you. Good luck.
So there it is in a nutshell. Especially if you’re a beginner and haven’t bounced a lot of bad tries off of irritated agents, editors, and publishers. Why not go in armed with this knowledge? Why not reflect it in your much improved work? Oh, sure, keep your basic story and your trademark “voice.” Tweak up those characters the way you like to. Keep that energy, that inspiration you have pent up inside you and apply your butt to the chair in front of your keyboard. Les Edgerton is mainly working a bit on the structure here, especially the first few chapters, in this quick little book, condensing all those first words you wrote down to essentials, piquing interest right away. It’s a short enough book at 236 pages. I got it at Amazon. Sell something in 2009, and I'll try to match you. Good luck.
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